- WiFi: connected
- Me: then fucking act like it
if we are spooning and I arch my butt into you there is a 1000% chance I don’t actually have to stretch and that I just want to feel your boner
- student: can i borrow a pencil
- teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
- student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
my ex got mad on facebook when he found out i was seeing someone else and he wrote “i hope he likes your loose pussy” so i commented back and wrote “my vagina is a muscle that will go back to the same size after sex. your penis will never get any bigger.” and now he is messaging me saying “delete that comment now”